Bogged Down
by Hoshika Hitomi
Summary: He knew from that moment on that this night was not going to end smoothly. Slight KakuHidan, OneShot.


Note: I currently do not have a beta. I would love to have one, seriously! So, if you are interested just let me know. I would also appreciate it if anyone could critique my work. I'm a blooming writer and I would love to have some. Thank you and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

—

A shower of rain pounded on the roofs and temporary housing buildings that scattered the rim of the middle-sized town. The rain water poured off of the make-shift roofs, which molded miniature ditches on the bare wet earth. A pair of travelers, both uniformed in black cloaks with embroidered red clouds and matching bamboo hats, walked fast but silently next to each other on a less traveled street into the core of the town.

The dark grey sky loamed over head, and lighten for only brief moments in time when lightening struck. The rumbling thunder headed every last passerby to get inside. Soon enough, the couple of matching travelers found themselves alone in cold, wet conditions. One of the travelers trembled visible from either the cold or from rage.

"God damn it, Kakuzu! Just find a fucking hotel already! I don't give a fuck if it's too expensive for our budget!" hassled the shivering traveler.

"Just shut up, Hidan," Kakuzu replied evenly.

They continued to power walk together silently and every once in a while Hidan would mutter under his breath a string of colorful language as he diligently moved around any puddle that dare cross his path. After walking down dingier alleyways they found the hotel that suit to Kakuzu's liken.

As soon as they enter the foyer the fall nin immediately walked up to the empty reception desk and tapped the bell a few of times.

The lobby could not have been anything less then welcoming. The faded light blue paint was peeling off of the walls that were nearest to the doorway, and the wooden floor was cracked in several places and squeaked under any kind of weight. The two chairs that were beside each other up against the nearest wall did not even look appealing to sit upon. Hidan could have sworn that there were semen stains on one of the chairs.

"Some fucking place," Hidan muttered to himself as he removed the bamboo hat. He then shook the hat fiercely to remove any stray water drops. Unfortunately, the water spray was in the immediate direction where Kakuzu stood. He glared at Hidan under his own hat.

"Cut that shit out," he snapped at him, and then quickly turned back to find a middle-aged man, with his arms crossed, staring at him.

"Want a room?" the balding man questioned. Hidan mumbled a no shit, as Kakuzu preceded to obtain the cheapest room from the man.

—

He wove the pitch black fabric steadily with keen jade eyes, all the while sitting cross-legged on his temporary bed. The last mission ripped several of their clothes apart because they were unexpectedly attacked by Mist's ANBU Force. Who is to blame? Hidan, who swore that if he didn't have his ritual then that Jashin-sama will not be pleased. As if any God would be pleased to have a fucking idiot like him in his fan club, Kakuzu thought with a smirk. Thankfully before the rain began to pour he quickly sew, to the best of his ability, so they could travel without being completely damp. When they arrived at the room for two Hidan immediately went inside the bathroom and had not come out for a whole hour. Knowing his partner Kakuzu picked off Hidan's tossed cloak and immediately redid his work in hopes to make it less noticeable, otherwise he would be bitched at. He growled irritable at this thought as he continued to sew.

After a few minutes, that he cherished because of the lack of Hidan's jabbering mouth, his stomach began to grumble. Kakuzu momentarily abandon his work to reach for his belongings that were carefully placed beside his bedside. He scrounged, and then scrounged again: money, mission details, maps, money, bingo book, money, scrolls, water jug, money, oh and more money. Not a single slice of bread nor a rice cake. That means only one thing: going out to eat with Hidan.

"Fuck."

He knew from that moment on that this night was not going to end smoothly.

—

Hidan was currently in the bathroom, doing what he does best: priming himself. As he was combing his hair and checking his complection several times, he hummed hymns. Every once in a while he would actually murmur a verse or two. It was the only time he could worship in song to his Jashin-sama without a heathen interrupting him. explain why he can't sing louder. After what seemed like hours to Hidan in the steamy bathroom he finally burst out. After putting away the bathroom items, he caught sight of his partner weaving with a pissed-off expression.

"What's up your ass?" he asked while lifting an eyebrow at his partner.

"Are you ready to go out?"

"Maybe..."

"It's a 'yes' or 'no' question, dumbass!"

"Why the fuck do we need to go outside for? It's fucking pouring cats and goddamn dogs!"

"I have no _food_," he said, straining the last word, "Do you, Miss. Prissy?"

"Fuck you, Raggedy Ann!" Hidan snapped back while dumping the contents of his traveling pack on his bed which had: shampoo, Jashin pamphlets, conditioner, a brush, Jashin scriptures, a bar of soap, cologne, pamphlets, lotion, black nail polish, pamphlets, comb, and more pamphlets.

Kakuzu leaned over and looked at the items.

"I guess that means we are going out."

Hidan shot Kakuzu a look while stuffing all the items back inside his bag. "We are going to a fucking descent restaurant. I can live in shit, but I'm not eating shit!"

The pair, after much bickering, decided upon a restaurant. It was bustling with activity and with the ho-hums of couples and some families that still lingered the late night scene.

After retiring to a corner booth, Hidan exhaled and grinned wryly at Kakuzu.

"This is what I'm talking about. Maybe I can pick up a lady here," he said while raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Kakuzu lip curled.

"If you haven't noticed," he replied flatly, "this is more of a family restaurant then a bar filled with whores."

And just at the moment a female waiter arrived at their table catching the tail end of the conversation. The young girl's expression looked like a mixture of being unnerved, confused and slightly disgusted. Hidan sat back and just glowed with delight.

Kakuzu threw him a piercing glare and ordered without looking at the waitress.

About the time they got through most of their main coarse, a family across from them sat down about five feet away from the them. It was normal family banter, up until they received their meals that they ordered.

Kakuzu didn't immediately pick up on it. The only reason he clued in was because Hidan suddenly stopped talking.

"What is–"

"Hmpf," Hidan huffed loudly, his eyes trained on the family across from them. The more he looked at them the more he stiffened from anger.

Kakuzu bemused, looked at the family.

There was a short balding man, his plump wife, a pre-teen daughter, and a boy all holding hands and bowing their heads. The man was talking normally but was praising a different god from Hidan's.

Smirking, Kakuzu looked over at his partner who was half way out of his sit.

"Don't!" he hissed at Hidan.

Hidan ignored him. He got up from the booth and was approaching the family's table until Kakuzu intervene.

Through the numerous times that Hidan meet a "pagan", brute force was the only option to stop Hidan from doing something stupid.

Brandishing a kunai, Kakuzu stood up and slipped it under Hidan's head. It momentarily stopped Hidan from approaching the table. Unfortunately, that is when the father of the family decided to end the family pray and look up at the odd scene to the side of him.

"Is everything alright over there?" the man asked with a demanding tone. It must have looked like Kakuzu was robbing or seriously maim Hidan, because of the knife against the neck. So Kakuzu thought of something up quickly, maybe a bit too quickly.

"I'm just...shaving him."

Hidan blanched, and then played along after Kakuzu hid the kunai.

"Uh, yeah...I had missed a spot and you see I'm meeting a girl later tonight, and we can't go back to the hotel because it's pouring... or something," he trailed off while giving Kakuzu a resentful expression.

The father accepted the lie without making any fuss and began to eat his dinner.

Kakuzu growled lowly as soon as they both sat down, "Hurry up and eat. We are leaving."

"I'm fucking done," he uttered while avoiding Kakuzu glare.

Kakuzu let out a sigh. "Good."

When they left the restaurant the hostess gave Kakuzu four Chinese fortune cookies with a smile and waved them off. The fall nin had no time to give her back the fortune cookies because his partner, in a tiff, hustled out of the restaurant and Kakuzu had the key to the room, without any other choice, he shoved the four cookies into a pocket and stormed after Hidan.

About an hour after they arrived at their room Hidan had been ranting non-stop about pagans and their heathen religions and how Kakuzu had stopped his righteous judgement. He ignored him until after a certain point.

"Don't you have some sacrifices?"

Hidan paused, and then shook his head.

"Why? Would you like to try your first sacrifice to Jashin-sama?" His eyes bright with hope.

"Fuck no. I just want you to leave me alone."

"Fuck you! You are such an asshole, seriously!"

"Yeah, yeah," Kakuzu waved him off half-heartedly and then stuffed his hands into his pockets, and felt the crinkly thin plastic material over the fortune cookies. He wrinkled his nose and threw them in the small garbage basket by the tv-stand.

"What the fuck were those?" Hidan asked.

"Fortune cookies," he took off his cloak and began to examine his rushed work from earlier today.

Hidan having nothing else to do, other then watch idolaters making-out on a soap opera on the small static television set, reached in and grabbed the four fortune cookies.

He opened one a bit too fiercely and it popped up and over and landed on the floor. Hidan looked at it as if it was contaminated.

He looked at Kakuzu, who was busy sewing on the bed, and then back at the fortune cookie.

He picked it up with his index finger and his thumb.

"What kind of stupid pagan thought of this idea?" he muttered to himself. "It doesn't even look like a cookie."

"You're suppose to crack it open and read your fortune," Kakuzu said exhaustedly.

Hidan quizzically did so, and read the capitalized pink font out loud:

"You love the thrill of showmanship and display."

Kakuzu snorted loudly.

"Yeah! Fuck you! Why don't you open one, fuck-face?"

The waterfall nin stared at Hidan and said, "Fine, throw one over."

Instead of one, like Hidan was instructed, he threw two.

While sighing Kakuzu tore the plastic and easily crunched the cookie into two.

"What does the fortune say?" Hidan demanded.

"Hidden treasures will be found, where least expected," he said with an amused expression.

"Yeah, like up your ass. That is probably the last place you haven't searched for money," Hidan scoffed.

Kakuzu sighed with growing irritation."What's your last one say?"

"Your mind is creative, original and alert."

Kakuzu didn't even hold back the laughter. Hidan's face slowly turned red and screeched profanities at him while the waterfall nin laughed heartily.

After Kakuzu finally finished laughing at him and wiping away the tears, Hidan gestured to the last fortune cookie that laid beside Kakuzu's sitting figure on the bed. "Open it!" he fumed, hoping that the last fortune will be something to offend him with.

Kakuzu calmly put aside the remains of the first cookie on the night stand and picked up his cloak that was laying limp on the foot of the bed.

"No, I had enough. You can open it yourself." He bent over it and continued to work.

Kakuzu thought his partners silence was a sign that maybe he took his advice, but then that thought quickly left as soon as it had came. Something not too firm nor soft hit him with enough force to miss a loop and accidently pricked his finger.

He snapped his head up at the silver haired man, "What the fuck is your problem?" Kakuzu looked down and saw the pillow, without a second thought he threw it viciously back at Hidan.

The dogmatist caught the pillow with ease, and pointed at the wrapped cookie, "I opened the other two. The last one is yours by default!"

Kakuzu rolled his emerald eyes. "You're such a child," he said and then sighed. Normally Kakuzu wouldn't actually obey anything that Hidan would want but he was tired, and he wanted to finish his cloak sometime that night.

He popped the plastic with hardly any force, and cracked the cookie. The pale yellow crumbles laid on his black cloak. The slip was wedged inside the right side of the cracked cookie. He tugged it out without any deliberation.

"You are open and honest in your philosophy of..." Kakuzu narrowed his eyes.

"Philosophy of what?" Hidan demanded impatiently while sitting on his own bed.

"Love."

For one reason or another there was an awkward silence between the two. Kakuzu tried to break it by crumbling up the remains of the fortune cookies and it's contents into the trash, but to no avail. The waterfall nin looked at his cloak, and quickly grabbed it and walked towards the off-white stained door.

"Where are you going?" the other nin questioned.

"I need more thread."

Hidan turned towards his partner and raised one eyebrow. "At this time of night?"

Kakuzu avoided eye contact and silently opened the door and firmly closed it behind him.

Hidan still felt slightly uncomfortable, and stared at the door for a minute. He eventually shrugged it off and with no one to talk at Hidan resorted to flipping on the small television set. He hoped that there were no more dramatic heathen soap operas on the limited channels available.


End file.
